Good evening children
ranxid's back from a slight hiatus and would like all of you to know that for the first time in a long while the birthday went off smashingly well.....thanks to the little ones marching down his steps with the cutest lopsided little cake, singing merrily to the old grinch in classic who fashion.......well....(sniff)......they made the old heart grow a few beats I can effectivly report to you......on that note we will dispense with the world destruction news this go round and find a few fun little tid-bits to keep us from seeing the true nature of the planet's doom......first off it's that cerebral superstar Paris again...........now I just have to say the dog head thing is a little mean.......and we all would hate to have our hard worked on creations tampered with in such a heinious manner...(choke)...........art is one thing that should be considered hallowed and untouchable....(snort)......and this is very.....(chough)......very...(mwwnwn).......wrong!!(BWAHAHAHA......)
Paris Hilton targeted in CD prank
Paris Hilton's album entered the UK chart at number 29 last weekHundreds of Paris Hilton albums have been tampered with in the latest stunt by "guerrilla artist" Banksy.
Banksy has replaced Hilton's CD with his own remixes and given them titles such as Why am I Famous?, What Have I Done? and What Am I For?
He has also changed pictures of her on the CD sleeve to show the US socialite topless and with a dog's head.
A spokeswoman for Banksy said he had doctored 500 copies of her debut album Paris in 48 record shops across the UK.
She told the BBC News website: "He switched the CDs in store, so he took the old ones out and put his version in."
It might be that there will be some people who agree with his views on the Paris Hilton album
HMV spokesmanBut he left the original barcode so people could buy the CD without realising it had been interfered with.
Banksy is notorious for his secretive and subversive stunts such as sneaking doctored versions of classic paintings into major art galleries.
His spokeswoman said he had tampered with the CDs in branches of HMV and Virgin as well as independent record stores.
He visited cities including Bristol, Brighton, Birmingham, Newcastle, Glasgow and London, she added.
A spokesman for HMV said the chain had recovered seven CDs from two Brighton shops but was unaware that other locations were affected.
Artistic leeway
No customers had complained or returned a doctored version, he said.
"It's not the type of behaviour you'd want to see happening very often," he said.
"I guess you can give an individual such as Banksy a little bit of leeway for his own particular brand of artistic engagement.
"Often people might have a view on something but feel they can't always express it, but it's down to the likes of Banksy to say often what people think about things.
"And it might be that there will be some people who agree with his views on the Paris Hilton album."
A spokesman for Virgin Megastores said staff were searching for affected CDs but it was proving hard to find them all.
"I have to take my hat off - it's a very good stunt," he added
..........Yes ....a very good stunt indeed....artistic engagment.....hmmmmmm
in other news it's a whoopsie on the lunar surface.....
DARMSTADT, Germany (AP) -- Europe's first spacecraft to the moon ended its three-year mission Sunday by crashing into the lunar surface in a volcanic plane called the Lake of Excellence, to a round of applause in the mission control room in Germany.
Hitting at 2 kilometers per second, the impact of the SMART-1 spacecraft was expected to leave a 3-meter-by-10-meter crater and send dust kilometers above the surface.
Observatories watched the event from Earth and scientists hoped the cloud of dust and debris would provide clues to the geological composition of the site.
"That's it -- we are in the Lake of Excellence," said spacecraft operations chief Octavio Camino as applause broke out in mission control in Darmstadt, Germany. "We have landed."
Minutes later, officials showed off a picture captured by an observatory in Hawaii displaying a bright flash from the impact.
The spacecraft is at the end of a three-year mission that scanned the lunar surface from orbit and tested a new, efficient, ion-propulsion system that officials hope to use on future interplanetary missions.
Launched into Earth's orbit by an Ariane-5 booster rocket from Kourou, French Guiana, in September 2003, SMART-1 used its ion engine to slowly raise its orbit over 14 months until the moon's gravity grabbed it.
The engine, which uses electricity from the craft's solar panels to produce a stream of charged particles called ions, generates only small amounts of thrust but only needed 80 kilograms of xenon fuel.
The craft's X-ray and infrared spectrometers have gathered information about the moon's geology that scientists hope will advance their knowledge about how the moon's surface evolved and test theories about how the moon came into being.
In a scare on Saturday, mission officials said they had to raise the low point of the spacecraft's orbit by 600 meters by using its positioning thrusters to avoid the 1.5 kilometer-high rim of a lunar crater.
Had the orbit not been raised the craft would have crashed one orbit too soon, making the impact difficult or impossible to observe.
SMART-1, a cube measuring roughly a meter on each side, took the long way to the moon -- more than 100 million kilometers instead of the direct route of 350,000 to 400,000 kilometers.
But the European Space Agency did it for a relatively cheap €110 million ($140 million).
The spacecraft has also been taking high-resolution pictures of the surface with a miniaturized camera.
yeah.......we meant to do that.......to study.....the cloud of dust.....yeah....thats it.......
in more planet shaking headlines there is a new global pandemic sweeping the population.......thats right......you guessed it........obeasity.....
SYDNEY, Australia (AP) — An obesity pandemic threatens to overwhelm health systems around the globe with illnesses such as diabetes and heart disease, experts at an international conference warned Sunday.
"This insidious, creeping pandemic of obesity is now engulfing the entire world," Paul Zimmet, chairman of the meeting of more than 2,500 experts and health officials, said in a speech opening the weeklong International Congress on Obesity. "It's as big a threat as global warming and bird flu."
The World Health Organization says more than 1 billion adults are overweight and 300 million of them are obese, putting them at much higher risk of diabetes, heart problems, high blood pressure, stroke and some forms of cancer.
Zimmet, a diabetes expert at Australia's Monash University, said there are now more overweight people in the world than the undernourished, who number about 600 million.
People in wealthy countries lead in overeating and not doing enough physical activity, but those in the poorer nations of Asia, Africa and Latin America are quickly learning bad habits, experts said.
Thailand's Public Health Ministry, for instance, announced Sunday that nearly one in three Thais over age 35 is at risk of obesity-related diseases.
"We are not dealing with a scientific or medical problem. We're dealing with an enormous economic problem that, it is already accepted, is going to overwhelm every medical system in the world," said Dr. Philip James, the British chairman of the International Obesity Task Force.
The task force is a section of the International Association for the Study of Obesity, a professional organization of scientists and health workers in some 50 countries that deal with the issue.
James said the cost of treating obesity-related health problems was immeasurable on a global scale, but the group estimated it at billions of dollars a year in countries such as Australia, Britain and the United States.
Among the most worrying problems are skyrocketing rates of obesity among children, which make them much more prone to chronic diseases as they grow older and could shave years off their lives, experts said.
The children in this generation may be the first in history to die before their parents because of health problems related to weight, Kate Steinbeck, an expert in children's health at Sydney's Royal Prince Alfred Hospital, said in a statement.
Experts at the conference said governments should impose bans on junk food advertising aimed directly at children, although they acknowledged such restrictions were unlikely to come about soon because the food industry would lobby hard against them.
"There is going to be a political bun fight over this for some time, but of course we shouldn't advertise junk food to children that makes them fat," said Dr. Boyd Swinburn, a member of the International Obesity Task Force.
Dr. Claude Bouchard, president of the International Association for the Study of Obesity, an umbrella group for medical organizations dealing with weight-related and children's health issues, said the group supported advertising bans as official policy.
But the policy position is unlikely to have any immediate effect on influencing governments to introduce such bans, said Bouchard, head of the Pennington Research Center at Louisiana State University at Baton Rouge.
insidious, creeping pandemic of obeasity......oh my..........
speaking of ............here is one of the victims of this global tragedy caught earlier and interviewed by msn on what life has taught him.......
What I've Learned: Homer Simpson
Nuclear-power-plant safety inspector, 39, SpringfieldInterviewed by John Frink and Don Payne
When someone tells you your butt is on fire, you should take them at their word.
There is no such thing as a bad doughnut.
Kids are like monkeys, only louder.
If you want results, press the red button. The rest are useless.
There are many different religions in this world, but if you look at them carefully, you'll see that they all have one thing in common: They were invented by a giant, superintelligent slug named Dennis.
You should just name your third kid Baby. Trust me -- it'll save you a lot of hassle.
You can have many different jobs and still be lazy.
I enjoy the great taste of Duff. Yes, Duff is the only beer for me. Smooth, creamy Duff . . . zzzzzzzzzzzzz.
You can get free stuff if you mention a product in a magazine interview. Like Chips Ahoy! cookies.
You may think it's easier to de-ice your windshield with a flamethrower, but there are repercussions. Serious repercussions.
There are some things that just aren't meant to be eaten.
The intelligent man wins his battles with pointed words. I'm sorry -- I meant sticks. Pointed sticks.
There are way too many numbers. The world would be a better place if we lost half of them -- starting with 8. I've always hated 8.
If I had a dollar for every time I heard "My God! He's covered in some sort of goo," I'd be a rich man.
Be generous in the bedroom -- share your sandwich.
I've climbed the highest mountains . . . fallen down the deepest valleys . . . I've been to Japan and Africa . . . and I've even gone into space. But I'd trade it all for a piece of candy right now.
Every creature on God's earth has a right to exist. Except for that damn ruby-throated South American warbler.
I don't need a surgeon telling me how to operate on myself.
Sometimes I think there's no reason to get out of bed . . . then I feel wet, and I realize there is.
Let me just say, Winnie the Pooh getting his head caught in a honey pot? It's not funny. It can really happen.
Even though it is awesome and powerful, I don't take no guff from the ocean.
I never ate an animal I didn't like.
A fool and his money are soon parted. I would pay anyone a lot of money to explain that to me.
Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll get a hook caught on his eyelid or something.
I made a deal with myself ten years ago . . . and got ripped off.
Never leave your car keys in a reactor core.
Always trust your first instinct -- unless it tells you to use your life savings to develop a Destructo Ray.
When you borrow something from your neighbor, always do it under the cover of darkness.
If a spaceship landed and aliens took me back to their planet and made me their leader, and I got to spend the rest of my life eating doughnuts and watching alien dancing girls and ruling with a swift and merciless hand? That would be sweet.
I may not be the richest man on earth. Or the smartest. Or the handsomest.
Never throw a butcher knife in anger.
The office is no place for off-color remarks or offensive jokes. That's why I never go there.
My favorite color is chocolate.
Always feel with your heart, although it's better with your hands.
The hardest thing I've had to face as a father was burying my own child. He climbed back out, but it still hurts.
If doctors are so right, why am I still alive?
I'm not afraid to say the word racism, or the words doormat and bee stinger.
Always have plenty of clean white shirts and blue pants.
When that guy turned water into wine, he obviously wasn't thinking of us Duff drinkers.
I love natural disasters because we're allowed to get out of work.
When I'm dead, I'm going to sleep. Oh, man, am I going to sleep.
What kind of fool would leave a pie on a windowsill, anyway?
More on Men's Lifestyle:
What I've learned: Ozzy Osbourne
What I've learned: Pamela Anderson
What I've learned: Tom Petty
Homer was unavailable to politiclly inncorrect for fruther comment...........our calls went strangely ......unreturned........
ok kiddies that is about it for our labor day installment......we part now with a shameless plug for the new video on the block.........watersign.........by that flashing warning light of flashing warning lights......ranxid.........enjoy......
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